The time we bought a motorcycle I never wanted
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time - Maya Angelou
For the purpose of this blog let's revise that famous quote a bit. When someone tells you who they are, and what they want, believe them.
Before I dive into this story let me give a bit of background information to help justify my part in all of this.
One of the reasons I love my husband is that he is a lot like me when it comes to managing his finances. We're both quite conservative with our spending. This is an example of a typical scenario when he wants to make a large purchase.
D: I want to buy XYZ, but I won't buy it yet. I'll save up for it instead of using money from my savings.
A: Ok.
[Time goes by. He now has enough in his special savings fund to buy XYZ.]
D: Ummmm, I don't think I'll buy XYZ anymore. We can use the money for something more important.
A: Okay, whatever you want :)
See, very responsible. Now, let me tell you a story of a time when I was wrong and underestimated my husband.
Summer 2017, I had a brilliant idea to get Douviere motorcycle lessons for his birthday. I usually get him clothes, jewelry, or electronics as gifts but, he had mentioned wanting to take lessons for a while. Being the fantastic wife that I am - fiancee at the time - I listened and got him something he actually wanted. Yayyy me!!!
Obviously, this motorcycle experience was meant to be just that, a weekend experience to cross off the list of things he's always wanted to do. It should not have gone any further than that.
I'm sure you can already tell where this story is going. Needless to say, he was very happy with his birthday present. I was happy that he was happy, but he enjoyed the whole experience a little too much. Because he successfully completed the training program, he qualified for the level 1 motorcycle license. I'm not sure how it works in other parts of Canada but in Ontario the instructor submitted paperwork stating he passed the course and that was it, no further testing required. I said nothing because in my mind he might have wanted to occasionally rent a bike for the thrill. I was wrong.
Sooooo, now he has his license, he starts looking at motorcycles online. To him, the next logical step was to buy a motorcycle. I did not agree. From my perspective, this is where we write this off as the best birthday present ever and move on to the next thing. He did not agree.
Now, remember what I said earlier about his conservative spending habits. He started saving to buy a bike and I said nothing. I even went to a couple of dealerships with him as he shopped around. I was happy he was saving a lot of money because we had a wedding to pay for and I never thought he would actually go through with it.
Anyway, a few months go by, we get married, a new year has started, and still no motorcycle. See I'm right, he's going to keep looking until he loses interest...Nope... I was wrong.
In March 2018, he bought a bike.
I actually went with him to pick it up. The entire ride there I thought - 'Ya right, he's going to change his mind.' Nope, I was wrong. He wrote the cheque, the paperwork was signed, and I regretted ever having the stupid idea to get him lessons in the first place.
The ride home
That's how we got Nicole. His first bike.
You'll notice I said FIRST bike. You see, I did another stupid thing. I don't remember the exact details of the conversation but I basically told him that I wouldn't get on the bike unless he had at least 2 years of experience. I may have also said that he would lose interest soon enough and sell Nicole.
Needless to say, he's still riding. However, he did say once that he was thinking about giving it up but didn't purely out of spite for what I said. See, my big mouth.
Last year he decided he'd outgrown Nicole. So we said bye-bye to Nicole and hello to Stephanie. This man had me up at 6 am on his birthday, with a 3-month-old to go pick up this bike. Happy birthday to him.
Lessons learned:
No more 'experience' gifts for him
Keep my mouth shut and let God's will be done on earth
A happy husband is an anxiously happy wife
People keep asking me - "Are you okay with your husband riding a motorcycle?"
Honestly, at first, I didn't like it. On some level, I still don't like it. I don't think it's safe. I trust him to ride responsibly, but it's the crazy drivers on the road I worry about.
At the end of the day, two shall become one...yup that's true... it takes two whole people to make a (one) marriage work. I believe you should still have your own interests and hobbies. He has his bike, I have my books. In my opinion, no one should be wholly dependent on another person for their happiness.
Oh, if you're wondering, NO, I have not gone for a ride. Maybe by year 5 :)
What do you think? Am I to be blamed for this or did he take it to far?
Does your spouse have a hobby that you grin and bear?
Comment below.
댓글