My biggest lesson since becoming a mom

I was reminded earlier today that Mother's Day is less than two weeks away (May 10th), which got me thinking about what it's been like so far being a mom and some of the things I've learnt. Hands down, the most important thing I've learnt so far is finding a happy medium between giving unconditional, selfless love, and practicing self-love and care makes me a better mom...and wife.

The day Amelia was born I understood what true unconditional love feels like. To place someone's well-being above your own, their wants and needs superseding yours no questions asked, and the willingness to do everything in your power to make sure that everything is right in their world.

“A mother’s love endures through all.” Washington Irving

However, there was a day, mid-December 2019, when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and surmised that I needed to do better at taking care of myself. You see, Mia and I had just finished our Christmas shopping and she looked all pretty in her fleece bodysuit with the matching hat...while I was in sweats (not the fashionable kind)...my face...no makeup...eyebrows overgrown... tired and exhausted...looked like I hadn't slept in months (which was kinda true) ...and my hair in a braid from the day before, that badly needed to be redone.

As a new mom, I put all my time and energy into taking care of my daughter and found myself no longer being important or a priority. However, I still needed and wanted to be.

The very next day I got my eyebrows threaded, a facial, and a mani-pedi. Lol, I think I scared my husband that day...that was the longest he'd been alone with Amelia.

After my 'ME day', I felt so much more like my old self. I started to revive Anora the woman and started figuring out how she could coexist with Anora the mom. From then on I've made it a priority to make more time for myself. It could be as simple as taking an extra 5 minutes to shave my legs in the shower...a little goes a long way.

By taking better care of myself I realized I became a better mom...and wife. My mood and disposition became more upbeat, positive, and happy. I spent more time smiling and playing with Mia instead of only looking forward to her next nap. Yes, I was (am) still tired and exhausted at times, but, far less grumpy...which Douviere appreciates.

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The point I'm trying to make is that only when you take care of yourself first can you truly give yourself...your best self, to others. It's like in an airplane when they tell you to put on your mask first before trying to help others. You will be useless to others if you pass out from a lack of oxygen.

You may think...duh Anora that's obvious. And yes, I agree that it is. However, rational thinking sometimes takes a backseat while in the thick of things.

Side note: Do you know that once a baby is born people stop or rarely ask - "How are you doing?"...it becomes - "How's the baby?". Don't get me wrong, I love talking about Amelia and her day to day achievements but, having family and friends to talk to about things not baby related has made me feel less lost.

As I reflect on all of this, my heart goes out to single parents out there who cannot share the load and take a break from baby duty, especially given social distancing. If you know anyone, mother or father, caring for an infant alone, reach out - text first...you don't want to wake a sleeping baby. Let them know that you're there and will help where you can...drop off home-cooked meals on their doorstep, pick up groceries so they won't have to go out with the baby, or simply chat on the phone for a while.

This mother's day, let's help our mothers enjoy some self-love and care, a small price for their years of unconditional love.

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P.S ...eeeeeee...my first Mother's Day :D. I'll let you know how it goes. (No pressure D :))